you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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