if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
