He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
