you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
