; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
