i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
