I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
