There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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