Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
