so explain again why im purple
no
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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