I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
