yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
