How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
