i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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