the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
