Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
