Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
