I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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