You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
