I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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