Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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