i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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