i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize