i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
