That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
