Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
