tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
