bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can tuck mytits in my pants
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
