The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
