Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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