really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize