Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
