This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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