: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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