in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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