Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
