she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
