idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
