You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
