His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
