This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
