and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
