When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize