he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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