summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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