we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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