I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
smell my finger.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
