were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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