Where did you get a picture of my penis
You can't motorboat a personality
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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