I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize