i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize