I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
