ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
