im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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