Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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