Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
