none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
