Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
