shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
