The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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