I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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