She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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