gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
