I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
