Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
